Sleeping with a broken heart
by N.T's Fanfiction
Summary: After Addison cheated on Derek with his best friend Mark, Derek left her . Addison regrets what she did to him and misses him and want him back while Derek doesn't want to forgive her for cheating. Now she does have to find a way to get over him.ONESHOT


**Sleeping With A Broken Heart.**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters from the shows Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice, Shonda Rimes and ABC do though.. wished I did, then I would be writing scripts and have fun with the cast :) for now I only own this story but the lyrics and title of my fanfic come from Alicia Keys.

**AU: **After Addison cheated on Derek with his best friend Mark, Derek left her and moved to Seattle. Addison regrets what she did to him and misses him and want him back while Derek doesn't want to forgive her for cheating. Now she does have to find a way to get over him.

Re-post and changed! So if it looks a little familiar to you, it's all mine just changed it.

oneshot.  
>Please Read and Review.<p>

**xX-Natasja-Xx**

_Even if you were a million miles away  
>I could still feel you in my bed<br>Near me, touch me, feel me  
>And even in the bottom of the sea<br>I can still hear inside my head  
>Telling me, touch me, feel me<br>And all the time you were telling me lies_

It was a Friday evening and Addison was sitting onto her and Derek's bed as she was going through some old photo albums from her and Derek together, that she had found in the box underneath her king size bed.  
>She had shared so much of her live with Derek in the years they were together, she always told him everything, all her problems, her secrets, yes everything she could think off. Now that all was over because of her.<br>She sighed out loud and she knew it was her own fault, Derek left and it didn't happened if she hadn't cheated on him with his best friend for god sake.  
>Now she was here, sitting on her bed thinking back at all the great moments they had together, the nights they spend together talking, laughing, making love to each other and just enjoying each other's company even without saying any word.<p>

She wiped away a tear as she thought back at that one day a couple years ago;

_Flashback:_  
><em>She slide her key into the slot of the door and she turned to the right and the door opened. She walked into the beautiful house she owned together with Derek and she placed her keys on the table in the hall before walking in the living room.<br>As she arrived in the living room she saw Derek standing in the kitchen preparing dinner for the both of them. She walked over towards him and she softly said "hi" to him and she pulled him into a tightly hug.  
>Derek pulled her closer to him and gave her a kiss on the top of her head "Is everything alright babe?" he asked as he looked with concerned at her.<br>Addison looked up at him "it's just" she started as she took a deep breath before continuing her sayings "just don't die, don't ever leave me, I can't life without you, I need you" she said while tears started to fall from her eyes.  
>"rough day huh?" Derek answered with a questioned tone although he already knew the answer by looking her into her eyes. He kissed her on her soft and salty teared lips "I won't die, I won't leave you, I will never leave you babe I love you way too much for it" he said as he pulled her tighter to stayed there in his embrace for a couple minutes just holding him as he hold her.<em>

That was all she needed after a day like she had that day at work ,he knew her and he knew how to comfort her after a rough day. She just enjoyed to be into his safe embrace.  
>She missed him so much just because for everything he did for her, even if he sometimes wasn't aware of what just holding her meant for her.<br>That day he promised her to never leave her and still he did. .  
>She knew that she couldnt blame him for that, it was her fault after all that he left her.<br>But she never planned on sleeping with his best friend, it just happened that day without that she ever thought about sleeping with Mark.

_So tonight Im gonna find a way to make it without you  
>Tonight Im gonna find a way to make it without you<br>Im gonna hold onto the times that we had  
>Tonight Im gonna find a way to make it without you<em>

She sighed as she saw the wedding picture of them both, it was taken on a lovely day in June.  
>The weather was great, not to warm and not to cold, the sun was shining all day long and that's all that you want with a outside wedding nice , dry weather.<br>Everything outside looked beautiful that day.  
>She wore a beautiful white dress and he was wearing a black tux. She smiled at the picture she was holding and looking at, they made a great couple together. everyone told them that and if they had a disagreement everyone always said 'They are Addison and Derek" they were a team, always did everything together.<br>Everything went well on their wedding day and the kiss they had shared together was full with passion and love for each other just like the many others they shared together.  
>After the wedding party they gave for their friends and family, the two of them went to Miami and spend their honeymoon there on the beach, while they enjoyed the status of newlyweds in their honeymoon suite.<br>She shared a smile as she thought back at the moment they were making love to each other and the housekeeping lady walked in on them. The poor girl was to ashamed to look at them the following days.  
>But that was then, now he is gone and does she have to find a way to deal with the fact that he isn't coming back and that she can't fix what she broke, her and Derek's heart.<p>

_Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart  
>Well you can try sleeping in my bed<br>Lonely, only, nobody ever shut it down like you  
>You wore the crown, you make my body feel heaven-bound<br>Why dont you hold me, need me, I thought you told me  
>You'd never leave me<em>

Addison closed the photo album and she placed it back in the box before placing it back underneath her bed, and she turned onto her left side to face the empty side of the bed what was used to be Derek's side of the bed. She didn't change anything from that side yet, everything on that side of the bed still smelled like Derek always did!  
>She would have loved to cuddle up into him now, since she is a cold blooded person and always having it cold while Derek always felt warm and save. Yeah he was her pillow and she missed his gentle touch and the simple talks they shared in bed before going to sleep, these talks where important for both of them, if one of them had a rough day they would talk about it so the other could tell his or her story before going to sleep.<br>A tear escaped her eye and she wiped it quickly away.  
>He had promised her that he would never leave her, he said that so many times.<br>But he did, he was gone and she didn't know where he went too and how she could find him since he was ignoring every phone call from her.

_Looking in the sky I can see your face  
>And i knew right where Id fit in<br>Take me, make me  
>You know that Ill always be in love with you<br>Right til the end_

She still loved him, still does that is one thing she knew.  
>Addison closes her eyes and she thinks back at the evening that she had cheated on Derek.<p>

_Flashback;__  
>It was a rainy day and Addison had been sitting on the couch after a rough day at work, watching a marathon of Friends as the doorbell rang in the evening, she stood up and walked to the front door and opened it. There he was, Mark a good friend from her and Derek's best friend.<br>Derek was on call that night just as he was the day before and the day before that day. Addison had just a day shift so she didn't had a change to meet him these two days at work, because it was way too busy at the hospital at that time. That day Addison had a rough day, and she just wanted to talk to Derek but he wasn't home.  
>Addison knew for two days that she was pregnant but she never had the change to tell Derek. While she was working that day she got a little stomach pain but she thought it was because she didn't had the change yet to lunch and didn't had much for breakfast either that morning. Later that day she had a miscarriage.<br>when she came home she went straight to the couch to watch friends with a bottle of wine and she started to cry while she watched it, not that she didn't see something from it.  
>Then the doorbell rang and she got up from the couch to open the door, when she saw Mark standing at her door she invited him in and she got him a beer, later she started crying again and Mark comforted her and from one thing came another.<br>Later that evening Derek came home and walked in on them having sex, he threw Mark out of the house and walked back to the bedroom with Addison following him. He got some of her clothes out of the closet and walked off the stairs straight to the front door and he threw her clothes out in the pouring rain.  
>"Derek please" Addison cried as she tried to fix her mistake "I made a mistake I am so sorry" she said as she tried to get Derek to look at her. Derek looked at her with a sadmad, hurted look on his face "No Addison you don't have to explain I saw everything. NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE" he said while grabbing her arm and throwing her out the house into the rain.  
>A minute later he hadlet her in again and went outside himself and drove away and since that evening she never had seen him again, she once had him on the phone but he had made her clear that it wasn't going to be okay between them anymore and he had told her to stop calling him.<br>_  
>She wiped a tear away as she continued thinking back at that evening.<br>She never told him everything what happened that day before Mark came.  
>She still didn't have a clue what happened that evening, all she knew was that she was drunk and that Derek walked in to them having sex.<br>She knew it was her fault and she knew that Derek never would forgive her that.

_So tonight Im gonna find a way to make it without you  
>Tonight Im gonna find a way to make it without you<br>Im gonna hold onto the times that we had  
>Tonight Im gonna find a way to make it without you<em>

She turned onto her right side to face the alarm, it was only 7pm so she got up and walked to the bathroom to fresh her face up with some water.  
>As she was standing before the sink, facing the mirror she saw what a mess she did look like.<br>She quickly turned away from the mirror and she walked down the stairs to the kitchen where she left the phone on the counter this afternoon when she just had received a phone call from Nancy, one of her best friends and the sister of Derek.  
>She dialed a number and asked her best friend Naomi to come over to have a girly night.<br>She really needed a night without thinking about Derek and a girly night was always fun, she also called Nancy and Callie to ask if they came too, cause she needed them to distract her.

_Anybody could have told you right from the start  
>Its bout fall apart<br>So rather than hold onto a broken dream  
>Or just hold onto love<br>And I could find a way to make it  
>Dont hold on too tight<br>Ill make it without you tonight_

One hour later they all had arrived at her place and they were chatting in the living room with a nice glass of red wine while they were talking about boys, about Derek.. but only for a second, about music, TV and of course makeup and hair. After they all had some glasses of wine they decided to put on face maskers and to do each other's hair and nails. Stuff what a teenager would do, but they weren't teenagers anymore and they were having fun so they didn't care. Addison smiled , she was happy to have her friends here as company and she really loved them for not judging her or taking sides because Derek is Nancy's brother.  
>No they didn't care about all that, all they care about was her, their friend and they came to support her. Yeah with her friends by her side she could find a way to get over him.<br>Maybe she ever could be friends with Derek again, when the time is right and he forgives her. But until now she was happy with her wonderful friends.

_So tonight Im gonna find a way to make it without you  
>Tonight Im gonna find a way to make it without you<br>Im gonna hold onto the times that we had  
>Tonight Im gonna find a way to make it without you<em>

_**The end.**_

_**Please read and review!**_

_**xX-Natasja-Xx**_


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